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Finding No One

Live Your Story to the End and Beyond.

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397 pages © Lumio Santo & Martin Aurum. First published November 2025

May this book help man understand himself and his pain.

May it help women understand the suffering of men.

In this book, Martin Aurum shares an honest account of what it looks like to wake up from what most consider reality. In 2008, he was expecting twin sons, but only one was born alive. It set in motion a highly unexpected 17-year journey of self-discovery into greater consciousness.

As Martin tries to find missing parts of himself in his childhood, a divine mystery begins to unfold. But to know everything, he must first lose all that he is not. Only death before dying leads to the resonant truth he seeks.

Martin’s detailed field notes show how to use self-inquiry and dynamic practices to heal and grow beyond loss, generational trauma, and addiction. Learning from his journey can assist anyone seeking a direct path to greater existence without religion or dogma.

In Finding No One, writer and entrepreneur Martin Aurum shares an honest account of what it looks like to wake up from what most consider reality. In 2008, he is expecting twin sons, but only one is born alive. It sets in motion a stumbling 17-year journey to heal and know himself. As he descends deeper into consciousness, he witnesses the astonishing immaterial nature of reality and uncovers a shadowy childhood.
Reluctantly, Martin accepts that beyond worldviews, cultures, and traditions, a tailor-made experiential path awaits him. This direct path, neither religious nor dogmatic, leads him still deeper into the mystery of being. To continue, he must keep doing the grueling yet rewarding self-work it requires. Along the way, he documents his use of dynamic practices and self-inquiry to heal and grow beyond loss, abuse, generational trauma, and addiction. This makes the book relevant for men and women seeking ways to work with suffering and find meaning in life’s biggest challenges.
As Martin tries to recover repressed memories, the transcendental mystery deepens. Through the existential quest for his core self, doors open to a vastly expanded reality. As his materialist worldview definitively shatters, he is assisted from both sides of the veil by a love he thought impossible. He learns how everything has purpose, but his life was never just about him.
Finding No One is no textbook or work of fiction, but a blunt and vivid journal of raw lived experience, reporting from the frontiers of existence. To finally know everything, Martin must first lose all that he is not: Only death before dying can unlock the resonant truth he seeks. The book shows how it’s possible to live your story to the end; to see what wonders lie beyond.
Martin Aurum, MA, is a Danish writer and entrepreneur, cofounder of Issuu and other ventures. He is also the author of Home of One, a pragmatic take on metaphysics and consciousness development; Erto Shadow Works, an adult fiction quartet; as well as conscious tales, due to be released.

Before Words

Preface from the book

These pages are field notes and fragments from a most unexpected and inconvenient journey into consciousness. In 2008, following the birth of my son and the death of his twin brother, I began having subtle mystical experiences. I was a high-performing entrepreneur with a Master’s degree and didn’t consider myself crazy. As I looked deeper, I began to realize my experiences were clues that physical existence is embedded in a vast, conscious reality.

I am a very private person. I don’t consider myself special or important. I never thought it worthwhile to tell my story. In fact, for many years, I wrote fiction exactly because life seemed tragically dull. I felt like no one special. Until, that is, I suddenly discovered I was living inside a real-life narrative that was stranger than any fiction I could ever dream up. I began to explore myself, trying to find that no one, realizing I had no clue who or what I was.

I am acutely aware of the deceitful nature of language that tries to lend substance and order to anything random, confusing, or meaningless. Please know that for most of my forty-nine years, I experienced life exactly as that: Random, confusing, and meaningless. But now, as I write these pages, I see that life only seemed incoherent because I was given just one piece of the puzzle at a time. At some point, a bigger picture will emerge if you care to look for it. Only then will you see that there are no coincidences and each fragment belongs to the whole. This is the nature of what is. Every stone tells a story of the mountain.

We’re all threading the tapestry of consciousness in this savage dream of ours. Only by piercing through the veil of space and time can we know the foundation and purpose of existence. On my journey, I had to consider all parts of my story, including pain, shame, and what I thought lost in the past. I became obsessed with working through childhood and generational trauma, and found they were guides and teachers with gifts of knowledge. I fought my shadow until I saw he was my reluctant friend. I danced with fire, I became it, and burned away all I was not. I saw how everything must have its opposite; otherwise, we would not be able to experience the fullness of life. Loss is here to teach us about value, but beyond duality lies, ultimately, oneness. To become all, you must lose all.

This is a story about muddling through life, with all its grit and gore, and finally discovering the grace, joy, and love that all experience is enfolded within. What most people today consider reality is akin to a practical illusion, designed to help them wake up from all illusions. There’s a reason you are here, and it’s not about you. You, too, are no one, but also One, a unique and irreplaceable part of universal consciousness. Live your story to the end; see what wonders lie beyond.

I share with you my journey, just as it happened. I only changed the names of those on a different path than mine. If you read, please read to the end. Use what resonates, leave the rest. I am no longer the person portrayed here. I never was, although for many years I identified with him completely. Ultimately, it’s just a story, as real as they come. Now I give it up.